Hey, who wants some free crap? In particular, who wants some free crap for your baby to crap in? During the great nursery-to-big-kid-room move, I discovered a carefully packaged hoard of newborn cloth diapers. I only vaguely remember boxing it all up, possibly with the intention of giving it away...but more likely I was still hormonal and crazy and was like, NOOOO MY PRESHUS WITTLE TINY DIAPERS ALLLLL MIIIIIINE. I'm better now. I would like someone else to have and use them. I also went through the bigger/next-stage diapers and put together a second little diaper collection that should hopefully help someone get started with cloth (or continue with cloth). So, here's what's what. I have two diaper packages to give away, #1 and #2. I will describe them below. (In excruciating detail, because CLOTH DIAPERS MAKE ME SO TALKY.) Please leave a comment and specify which package you want. If you want both, please specify a FIRST CHOICE. I will use the random number widget thingie to select two winners. The first commenter chosen will get their first choice. The second commenter will get either their first or second choice, depending on what's left for grabs. If the second... Read more →

(Sorry, sorry. I guess when I said I would post this "tomorrow" on Tuesday I should have added "and/or whenever we don't get a dusting of snow and inexplicable school delays and/or closings." I spent 99% of my time yesterday either asking Ike if he needed to go potty or forcibly putting him on the potty and potty potty potty potty potty someone remind me why I thought this training business was a good idea again?) Okay! After easily writing an entire novel's worth of words about cloth diapering a newborn and then cloth diapering an older baby, I feel compelled to complete the series with a post about cloth diapering a toddler. Plus a little Purchasing Retrospective, in which I tell you what was worth buying and what ended up banished or just turned out to be be kinda "meh." (Any Amazon links are affiliate; links elsewhere are just straight-up "go here and spend money because it's good stuff" links and I get zero Internet pennies from them.) THE A-LIST AKA my favorites, the best, the go-to essential stash that dictates how often I wash diapers. When this stuff's all dirty, it's laundry time. Clockwise from far left: Cloth-eez... Read more →

If I'd bothered to get out of my pyjamas this morning, I might have taken a photo of myself spiking a football to illustrate today's post, because BAM. POTTY TRAINING ACHIEVED. FOR THE THIRD AND FINAL TIME. The toddler program Ike attends promises to get everybody potty trained by age three, and for awhile I was willing to be patient and wait for the teachers to declare him "ready"...while even dreaming of the Mystical Potty Training Unicorn of Ike deciding to be "ready" all on his own. But it turns out 2.5 years of diapering is my own personal limit of patience, and once it became clear that the only thing standing in our way was Ike's own stubbornness (i.e. His Royal Inherent Ikeness), I was like, "fuck this, I am down for a battle of wills, because my will is stronger and also I am bigger than you. SIT ON THE TOILET. DO YOUR BUSINESS. LOVE ME AND DESPAIR." And in the end, that's really the secret to potty training: You have to want it more. Well, that and a lot of paper towels. And a solid couple days of singular, obsessive focus. And more paper towels. And finding... Read more →

So I took one day off — ONE DAY OFF — to barbecue and visit with friends and binge-watch Arrested Development (ANUSTART) and of course I have been running around like boiling spastic hot ham water all day trying to get caught up on all my various work-y things. Well, not running, obviously. Just...sitting at my desk typing V. V. FAST and trying to keep the number of open browser tabs down to a reasonable number. Like 42. Do this thing! Then that thing! Abandon that email mid-sentence to go to some other thing just so you can include the fact that you did that thing in your email, thus making yourself sound all capable and on top of all the things. Meanwhile, in real life: AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPMAHGERD NOTHING IS DONE AND EVERYTHING IS TAKING MORE MINUTES THAN I HAVE MINUTES TO SPEND GAHAGAHAGAHAGAHAGAHAGHAGHHGGH You should hire me. I am not at all a complete freaking organization nightmare. Am bit of a liar, though. SEGUE TIME. IT'S A BRIDGE TO NOWHERE. I have a couple actual things I want to write about, but as it's definitely looking like I will not have time to write about them today, here are some... Read more →

This post is sponsored by The Honest Company. Deep, dark confession time, you guys. I mean, be prepared to have dozens of illusions and dreamy dreams shattered. Right now my baby is wearing a disposable diaper. And in an hour or so, I'll probably take that one off and put another disposable diaper on him. Just cuz. And I won't feel bad about it either, so there. DUN DUN DUUUUN. Okay, so let's back up: Last summer, Ike developed a rash. And I mean a rash as in a R-A-S-H-H-H-H. I will spare you (and my poor kid) a description of said rash, though I am pretty sure you can Google around and find pictures of something similar and then NEVER SLEEP AGAIN. It was horrible. I took him to the doctor, who mostly just shrugged because she was jaded and hard and going to medical school is probably a lot like Google Images only all the time. She recommended some over-the-counter creams and a slathering of Aquafor or Triple Paste, which I obediently purchased along with a package of disposables. I used the creams. I used disposables that leaked poop and exploded overnight, covering poor Ike in that disturbing... Read more →

COMPULSIVELY WORDY & SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC DISCLAIMER: A lot of people have asked for another cloth diapering post. And I really do mean "a lot." And hardly any of them were sockpuppets or the voices in my head. (Who, incidentally, sound just like Cookie Monster and Tom Hanks narrating a war documentary.) But I kept not writing another cloth diapering post because I ALSO know that a lot of you could not be more bored by the cloth diapering posts. Bored! Boring boredom streaming out of your eye sockets! LINDSAY FEELS YOU, BRO. Anyway. Guess what! This is a post about cloth diapers. The bored portion of the class is hereby dismissed for the rest of the day. Go sneak smokes by the monkey bars or throw vodka bottles at each other for awhile. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE GLAMOUROUS PEOPLE. The rest of you, well...let's talk hippie butt rags. (Note: Amazon Affiliate links ahoy! I have no affiliation to any of the other sites/shops mentioned/linked, however; they're just the places where I like to be shoppin',) So when we last chatted in excruciating detail, Ike was still a very small, slightly chicken-legged baby. We were using a combination of newborn-sized prefolds... Read more →

I. The Genetics of Crud-Covered Scrunchface Me, circa the days when metal cabinets with sharp rusty edges ruled the earth. Ike, circa last week. It's awesome how they only look like me when they're acting like goofball weirdos. Awesome and telling. II. No, But Seriously, He's Huge Now And all day long he's like "Shhzz? Go? Shhzz? Go?" which roughly translates to "Put my shoes on, woman, and let's bust this joint." One of these doors has to take me outside. Or at least protect somethng dangerous and perfectly sized for my mouth. III. Call Me Maybe Hello? OMG YOU GOT TICKETS TO THE WIGGLES NO FREAKING WAY. I'll be right there. Just gotta find my shhzz. I posted that last photo to Instagram, and the comments immediately all focused on Ike's spiffy little underroos, which is actually a gDiaper, which I actually bartered in exchange for writing a post for the gDiapers blog. (Which I still have to, you know, actually do. Coming soon! Hold please!) Yes, I requested and received payment for writing in the form of cloth diapers and was thrilled out of my goddamned mind over the arrangement. Mommyblogging! What a country! Get a real job,... Read more →

Fifth disease. Ezra has it. Now, if you're anything like me (read: insane), you hear the words "fifth disease" and think HOLY SHIT, DISEASE? THE FIFTH ONE? OUT OF HOW MANY? LIKE, ON A SCALE OF THE TOP TEN MOST TERRIBLE DISEASES YOUR PRESCHOOLER CAN GET? Not so much. It basically means: He had a cold, and then got a rash. Oh, and it looks like someone backhanded him across the face a couple times. No biggie. *** I recently ordered a retractable clothesline for our backyard, pledging to take my dirty hippitude to a new level: I was gonna hang my baby's poop-rags outside to dry, in the sun, in front of God and my dog and the one neighbor who can see into our yard. It started out well. It even made Ye Olde Annoying Instagram! Aw, how pretty! Points deducted for not using vintage upcycled shabby chic wooden clothespins from Etsy, however. I was only about halfway through the diapers when I posted that, and once I finished I sat up on the deck and admired my obnoxious hipster old-school handiwork. Look at me! I own a perfectly functional electric dryer but no, I am conserving! I... Read more →

I had a brief flash of menstrual-cycle panic this week, while Jason was away. I found myself sitting in the nursery, happily contemplating the various ways I could organize the contents of my brand-new changing table, while eating black olives out of the can. Good news! I am not pregnant in the slightest, but do seem to have retained a few of my weirder pregnancy habits and compulsions. BEHOLD I know what you're thinking: Who in their right mind buys a new changing table when her third baby is already six months old? Well, duh. Obviously I make no claims about being in my right mind, but whatever. In addition to the ruined-by-way-of-wipes-warmer surface on the old table, the crappy particle-board back had completely fallen off, a door hinge was busted and wouldn't close and finally one of the drawer guides snapped off and broke in two, and also I kind of own too many freaking diapers at this point OH RIGHT THAT. Consider this my cautionary tale to anyone trying to justify spending a small fortune on nursery furniture because you know it will totes grow with your child and they'll use it their whole lives and take the... Read more →

I've gotten a lot of requests for more baby product reviews and recommendations. And when I say "a lot" I actually mean that, as opposed to that fake "ohhhhh fine, since I'm being begged by so many people for my important thoughts on this important topic" thing you might do after like, one person asked you the question. On their Facebook wall. Where they asked everybody. But regardless! To the Opinionmobile! Away! So while I don't really *do* product reviews, I do enjoy making a good list. And yo dawg I heard some of you also like lists so here I made you a list. This list contains just about everything baby-registry-related that I have used and found to be Pretty Much To At Least Mostly Awesome. Some items/brands have been my favorite ever since Noah, while others are upgrades during the Ezra and Ike Eras that I now prefer. Everything here, unless specifically noted otherwise, was bought and paid for by my own damn self or is something I received as a gift from a friend or family member, NOT the company in exchange for linkage. (Amazon links are affiliate links, because, well, why the hell not? I do... Read more →