This Old Dog

It's been awhile, but yeah, this poor, sweet old dude is still here with us. And unfortunately he isn't doing so hot at the moment. In more NEUTER UR GOTDAM DAWGS news, Jake's neuter surgery did not go particularly well or easy for him. After a couple cancelled appointments due to snow and other disasters, I finally dropped him off last week, then came home and happily wrote up a sunny adoption listing for him and went through our photos in search of the best/cutest/biggest-softie-eyed ones. This was the last thing! The last hurdle! A simple snip-snip and then he could move out of medical-case fosterdog limbo and into the forever-home adoption pool! I drove back to the vet that afternoon and he was rushed back into surgery about five minutes after I got there, because there was still a "bleeder" hanging around...down there...somewhere. The next day he came home, but without the Cone of Shame, and so he promptly licked his way to a couple busted stitches and an infection and ONCE AGAIN, dog dickblood (or...ballblood? general-genital-area-blood?) became a thing that happened. Happens. Is still happening. This morning I got the chance to impart to Ike a super-important life... Read more →


Solo: A Storch Wars Story

Jason's been on a business trip all week so I've been trying my best to hold things together on my own. Nobody tell him I've been soaking the dinner pots since Monday. Poppy jumped over the fence to chase a squirrel, Beau escaped out an open garage door, and Jake found and consumed an entire package of English muffins. Packaging included, save for a single twist tie. Oh, and Rey got her head stuck in a package of seaweed snack while Finn followed after her trying to clean her butt. . It's like, when getting all these dogs, I looked back on the semi-impossible toddler days of yore and was like, yes. Let's absolutely do that all over again. On the other hand, the human children are no longer toddlers or semi-impossible. Noah was so excited to see sandwiches for dinner he didn't even care that they were technically full of vegetables. Then last night Ike ate two full servings of chicken and was the first one to finish, so he ordered me to text J and report on this truly STUNNING development. He gave me a huge hug this morning and said, "Remember how great I was at dinner... Read more →


Of Dogs and Dance Parties

Remember the orthopedic bed Jake needed? The bed y'all so nicely bought for him? He completely destroyed it, the ungrateful jerkwad. He also destroyed two doorframes and ripped the carpet off the basement stairs. (Someone please adopt this wonderful charming amazing creature I beg of you.) His heartworm treatment dictates that he MUST stay calm and not exert himself in any way (because otherwise the dead worms will break into pieces and you know what you can just Google why if you want), so we have to keep him isolated from all the other wild and crazy animals a lot of the time since they whip each other into a crazy pack frenzy.* But Jake haaaaaates being crated, so for a little while we let him just lounge around in the basement, and everything was fine. But at some point he lost interest in the plethora of toys and chews and Kongs we leave for him, and started going full destructor mode on stuff like, books! Pillows! Paper! Anything he can pull out of the trash can! THE VERY WALLS AND FLOORS AROUND HIM. So fine, back into the crate he went, along with designated toys and blankets he's welcome... Read more →


Florence Nightingdog

Several New Things I Learned About Dogs This Month: 1) If you don't neuter a male dog, some very bad and unpleasant things can happen to him later in life! And to your house! 2) You know those monthly heartworm pills your vet is always up in your grill about? They are very super important! 3) Dogs can get their very own special form of the Zombie Pinkeye. Poor Foster Dog, man. After getting the break of a lifetime last month, he has not really caught another one since. So, to recap: Jake is about 10 years old and was never neutered. He still isn't, because he is currently heartworm positive and cannot go under anesthesia until he tests negative. He also cannot be listed as available for adoption until he's both negative AND neutered. We knew all of these things when we accepted the foster placement, and we specifically requested a senior dog with treatable medical needs who otherwise didn't have a shot in hell at adoption from a shelter. So this isn't a post complaining about us having to deal with any of this shit -- but I just need to point out that FAT HOT HAM THIS... Read more →


Holiday Break Wrap Party Post

Happy 2019! Do we have a new president yet? Well, all that garbage aside, lots of things have actually happened! I got a foster dog! I turned 41! I cut my hair off! I took my kids on a boat! I went to a New Year's Eve party and talked to people! Then I lost my phone and found it the next day out on my street! I slammed my ankle (yes, that ankle, it's always the same damn ankle) in a car door! The biggest development (besides my swollen-ass ankle) is definitely Jake the Foster Dog, better known (by me and only me) as Goobs. He was found as a stray in Georgia and then spent an excruciating SEVENTEEN MONTHS being overlooked in a shelter. This was him a week and a half ago, getting loaded up for transport. And this is him now! He's a sweetheart. He gets along very, very well with kids, dogs, cats and couches. We think he's about 10, but he's really perked up as he's settled in and can get downright playful and butt-wiggly. Vet said he's in excellent health. He's starting treatment for heartworms (which were caught early) in a couple weeks... Read more →